Finding Peace with Uncertainty and Managing Your Fears for the Future.

Many people are starting to question their certainty of the future of our country.

The recent election has caused a lot turmoil and insecurity. I understand this feeling very well.

I have had my fair share of uncertainty and fears for my future.

My big one would be in 2004: The year I got married in Las Vegas and had a baby in the same year…you catch my drift?

Thoughts were racing through my head. Will this unexpected union be able to stand the test of time. Will we be able to make this marriage work with the stress of not being prepared for this new life as newlywed parents.

I was scared.

I rolled a lucky dice with my marriage. We have 2 girls and just celebrated 12 yrs. When you fear failure often times you are more conscious of the possibility and work harder to insure that it doesn’t occur.

But the fear never ends..I am currently having a few fears and uncertainties about starting my new practice.

I am not an Entrepreneur. I am a Counselor.

I know nothing about accounting, taxes, marketing, sales, insurance, etc. All I have ever done in the past is just show up to work and do my job…but when i worry about all these new hats I have to wear..I use these techniques.

These are the techniques that I use and teach to help others manage the fears of the future and uncertainties.

Let’s think about it:

The odds of you getting into a car accident is not greater tomorrow than it is today?

The odds of anything bad happening are not greater next week than they were this week. The odds of something great happening are also just as great next month as they were this month.

The day before I got married I was walking through the casino and watching everyone roll the dice and thinking…. I was about to do the same thing with my own life!

Honestly, we all are rolling the dice on life everyday.

Understanding Uncertainty:

Our journey will always be laced with hurt, risks, laughter, and celebration.

We don’t get to cherry pick only the parts of our path we want to experience.

It’s an all-inclusive ride. Just enjoy it.

Learning to acknowledge that there will always be uncertainty will allow our experiences to be more meaningful and joyful, regardless of what we may be dealing with.

So why is it scary? Why is not knowing so scary? If you roll a dice and don’t know what it will be, is that scary?

No, it’s not the “not knowing” that’s the problem … it’s the possibility that what comes up on that dice will bring us pain, suffering, and loss.

When you obsess about a tomorrow you can’t control, you’re too busy judging what hasn’t happened yet to fully experience what’s happening right now.

Instead of noticing and appreciating the beauty in the moment, you get trapped in a fear-driven thought cycle about the potential for discomfort down the line.

“Worrying is wasted time. Use the same energy for doing something about whatever worries you.”

For instance, when I don’t have enough sessions to fill my day. I can feel my fear and uncertainty creeping in my head.

That’s when I do something about it!!!!

I blog. I make phone calls. I network. I schedule lunch appointments with anyone who will listen to me… I am trying to do something about what is worrying me.

Worry is an emotion not an action verb. You are not doing anything by simply wringing your hands in worry.

If you worry about a cause close to your heart go volunteer and give back to that cause now. You are making a difference towards someone or something instead of worrying about it.

If you worry about paying your power bill. Go do something to help pay it. It won’t get paid sitting around worrying about it.

Embrace that which you can’t control:

We all like to be in control.

But this desire for control can backfire when you see everything that you can’t control or don’t know as a personal failure.

People who excel at managing uncertainty aren’t afraid to acknowledge what’s causing it. In other words, successful people live in the real world.

They don’t paint any situation as better or worse than it actually is, and they analyze the facts for what they are.

“They know that the only thing they really control is the process through which they reach their decisions.”

That’s the only rational way to handle the unknown, and the best way to keep your head on level ground.

Don’t be afraid to step up and say,

“Here’s what we don’t know, but we’re going forward based on what we do know. We may make mistakes, but that’s a lot better than standing still.”

Don’t Ask, “What if?”

What if?” statements throw fuel on the fire of stress and worry, and there’s no place for them in your thinking. Things can go in a million different directions, and

“The more time you spend worrying about the possibilities, the less time you’ll spend focusing on taking action that will calm you down and keep your stress under control.”

Taking action on the things that worry you will calm you down.

Successful people know that asking…..

“What If?” will only take them to a place they don’t want, or need, to go to.

Take a deep breath. Close your eyes and focus on what is good right now.

Roll your dice and make the best of each roll. You can be certain of this some will be lucky. Some not so lucky. Just keep rolling.

{If you have recently been dealt a bad hand in life and need some help call us. We can help you feel better at CLR Group, LLC.}