Have You Suddenly Lost Your Confidence? Try These Tips to Regain Your Swagger!
A lot of people talk about coping with low self-esteem, but less is said about
self-esteem that comes and goes. The truth is, when it comes to self-esteem,
most people fit in the middle of the spectrum, feeling fairly self-confident
one minute and then anxious the next.
If you can identify with swings in your confidence, here are some ways to cope:
Understand Emotions Are Your
Friend
Though
it’s not always easy dealing with uncomfortable emotions, understand that they
are part of our evolved warning system. We all have emotions for a reason, and
they can be used as helpful guides in our lives, reminding us how we feel about
things. Sometimes, however, this system can break down (as in the case of
depression and panic attacks), but generally speaking, our emotions are there
to help us.
Sometimes
a Loss of Confidence is Justified
Sometimes
when we have a sudden loss of confidence, it is completely justified. For
example, you may have started a new job and don’t know all the ropes or players
on your team. One day you pitch an idea to your new boss and colleagues. Most
of them react favorably, but one or two people have a negative reaction. That
negative response is likely to rock you disproportionately because you feel you
have a lot to prove and want to keep your job.
Our
psyche has been designed to react to any kind of uncertainty or mixed signals
with anxiety. If it weren’t for our ability to find and react to possible
dangers, human beings would have gone extinct a long time ago.
The
moral of the story is, don’t make your loss of confidence even worse by
chastising yourself for feeling less confident. In many situations, it is a
common reaction.
A Loss of Confidence Can
Help You Make Better Choices
Often
when we feel a sudden loss of confidence, it is a signal that we need to make
better choices. Our intuition is trying to get our attention and let us know,
“Pssst, you’re not doing it quite right,” or “This wasn’t what you had in
mind.”
Instead
of panicking about your lack of confidence, listen to it to hearwhat it’s
trying to tell you.
Some
common things it might be trying to say are:
·
Finish
what you started
·
Test
your strategies to see if they are really working
·
Ask
for feedback
Typically,
our self-confidence comes back as quickly as it left us. But for some, this
might not always be the case. Some people struggle day to day with low
confidence because they have underlying low self-esteem. These individuals
would greatly benefit from working with a therapist to uncover where these
feelings stem from, and how to manage them in the future.
If
you or someone you know lacks self-confidence because of a low self-esteem and
would like to explore treatment options, please contact me. I’d be more than
happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
